You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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