I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
