You're completely useless in the revolution.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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