Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Randomize
