I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
In America we eat man semen.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
