Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
When are your genitals available?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
