Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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