Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
