I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
