Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
