porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
