also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
