the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
