i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
