I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
