All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
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