it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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