Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
