We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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