Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
