Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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