guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
