I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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