He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize