I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
