So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
