Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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