Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
