Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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