I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
