it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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