We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
