I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
