Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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