oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I want a musical about memes.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
