He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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