just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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