I'm lost and stupid without you.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
