dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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