so explain again why im purple
no
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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