I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i will never coherently bang her
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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