I didn't shave. On purpose
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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