Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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