Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
