so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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