butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
