She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
