he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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