these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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