i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
