Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
