My girlfriend figured out who you are.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
