I'm pants shitting drunk right now
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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