we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
