I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i barfeds in our rink
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
