ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Where is the hickey?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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