Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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